This article first appeared in the August 2018 edition of “Food For Thought” Newsletter.
This is the final article in my current series, “How to Be Victorious in a Spiritual Battle…with Anger.” I wrote two articles on Romans 12:9-21 in June and July 2018, which focused on dealing with anger towards another person(s), according to the Scriptural approach God desires that we take. In this article, I will give some attention to Psalm 103:1-14, which says,
1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
6 The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
When I was going through a season of being angry with God, He really ministered to me through this Scripture.
The beginning of my anger towards God was when a loved one was in a difficult situation, and I felt desperate to be able to help. I wasn’t able to do much because of my physical limitations, and I knew without a doubt that God just needed to speak the word and I’d be healed…but, He didn’t.
Several other situations followed that caused me to be disappointed in God. Those perceived disappointments went on for quite a while.
All the while, He was reminding me that 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
I love that Scripture, and I cling to it often. However, in those days, I wanted to hear Him say that “by his wounds we are healed.” (See Isaiah 53:5b)
I learned a lot about God, and a lot about myself in those days. I can’t really say that I learned anything about God that I hadn’t known before, but this passage filled me with truth at a time when the enemy of my soul, Satan, was lying to me about God, and who He really is.
This attack from the enemy came at a time when I was especially weakened; physically, emotionally and spiritually. Those factors made me more vulnerable to falling prey to his lies. He took full advantage of my vulnerability.
Some really great things came out of that time in my life, but it did take a while. I wish I could say otherwise, but honestly, I had to go through a bad period of time – in order to get to the place I am in now.
Once I realized how bad my attitude was, the first thing I needed to do was to tell God that I was sorry, and then I needed to change my ways.
While I didn’t learn much new ABOUT God, I did EXPERIENCE Him in a new way.
Over the years, I have known God’s truth, and His faithfulness, many times, but this experience was somehow different. I don’t really think any of my past experiences took place when I was exhausted in every area, at the same time. Not like this.
I had been on my journey with the Lord for many years when I experienced this anger toward Him. I’ve persevered through trials and struggles before, even when I lacked understanding about what God’s purpose for them was. I was able to stay in faith and maintain an attitude of thankfulness. I remained positive, hopeful, and joyful.
Through that experience, I learned a lot about the power of praise as a weapon of my warfare against Satan’s assaults.
In those days, praising God really did feel like a sacrifice. But, as I dwelt on all that He has done for me, the promises that He has already fulfilled and those for which I remain in faith to see fulfilled, my faith in Him increased and my anger toward Him decreased.
In the time that has passed since that season of anger, I have come to realize something that has changed everything for me.
I had been through challenging things in life before this. But, this time, when the things I knew to be true of God were challenged by my circumstances, I think it is fair to say that I wrestled with Him, like I hadn’t before.
For me, that meant allowing myself to question the things I’d believed about God for years, but truly seeking for truth. Never giving up the desire to know and live in truth, even if it meant facing the reality that I had been wrong about some things.
Ultimately, my faith in God was not diminished, but it was strengthened.
I learned the importance of total surrender to Him. Even if it doesn’t always look like it at the time, He is ALWAYS right.
Instead of anger and condemnation, God responded to my anger toward Him, and my bad attitude, with love, compassion and grace. That allowed me to emerge from the experience with a degree of freedom in my life that I had never experienced.
In the aftermath of those dark days, I am reminded that God is my heavenly Father, and His love for me truly is unconditional. Authentically knowing that allows me to become the person that God created me to be.
I’ve spent most of my life being insecure and living with low self-esteem, but through meditating on this passage of Scripture, and having this experience with the Lord, I am able to live in freedom from that.
My life will never be the same as it was. That is not only a good thing, it is an awesome thing.
To Him be all glory, honor and praise!!!
